The Place of James Pain

I’ve managed to lock myself out of facebook and the password reset email isn’t getting through. This is all keepass’ fault!

My process of posting something on the internet. Write a breif location specific status and post on Google Buzz. Remove location specific, add more personal details and post on Facebook. Shorten to 140 characters maximum, make more interesting for a wider audience and post to Twitter. Finally gather all detail and media about what is being posted and submit to relevant blog. Done!

As you’ll notice on the right hand side of this blog in the ‘My Location’ section, you’ll see that I’m currently staying in Germany and will be for a few nights.

Daily blog posts with pictures, maps and details will be posted on my travel blog http://www.tophattraveller.com with the first post being published tomorrow.

That’s all to say about it. I’m not posting much, if anything, about the trip on this blog apart from this post. Partly because top hat traveller has advertising and this blog doesn’t. Mainly that it doesn’t seem relevant to this blog.

You Are About To Recive A Hug Choose Your Hug Style

1. Left Arm Up Right Arm Down 
2. Right Arm Up Left Arm Down 
3. Both Arms Up 
4. Both Arms Down 

You Have Chosen Both Arms Up 

They Have Also Chosen Both Arms Up 

Hug Failed

I’m genuinely annoyed, very annoyed.

We’ve had Virgin Media for about a year. We only got it because Satanta Sports was broadcasting the golf instead of Sky Sports that year. Since it was only costing us an extra £1 a month with our other Virgin Media products, we’d thought we would keep it since it had on demand content that I was fond of.

Infact the full story is that back in the 90’s, we were picked by BT to trial this new on demand technology. We had a physical catalogue book with all the tv shows we could watch, each with a number. We key in that number on our digital box and like magic, there was the show.
Since the trail ended, I’ve always said that when that comes out mainstream, we’re getting it, no questions.
The Virgin on demand service came out around the same time as the iPlayer and other such miracles so I wasn’t too pushy to get it although I clearly wished for it to be in our household.

So we kept Virgin TV after the golf season was over. I enjoyed it greatly, mainly because of the increased quality and not having to set a programme to record if we wanted to watch it. It would just be there, on demand, ready and waiting. The reduced delay was also a slight gain on news channels.

I’ve always tried to get my parents to realise the advantages of using Virgin Media TV with or even instead of Sky+. However, they avoided Virgin like the plague, even despised it. Saying that they “just don’t like it. I just don’t, I like Sky much more.”

During the Big Brother season that they were addicted to, they would sometimes forget to record some episodes. I pointed them to Virgin and how it’s ready to watch on demand. They still refused to even touch the remote controller.

I stopped trying after getting irritated at how there is no logical reason not to use it, since I found it impossible to hate a service that gives you what you want.

This very evening, I took a break from my work and went downstairs to hang out with the family in the lounge. They were watching the Jonathan Ross show which I found unusual since they don’t usually watch this. They reply: “It’s great James, I’m watching this on demand on virgin. It’s got all the BBC programs and such. It’s even much better quality.”

I got quite irritated but thankfully didn’t express it to its full extent in-front of them. Instead I went back to my computer and wrote this.

I swear I did not specifically search for this person, I just clicked the random button on wikipedia and he came up.

But while he’s on my screen…

James Madison Gaylord (May 29, 1811 – June 14, 1874) was a U.S. Representative from Ohio.

Well done to him for becoming a U.S. Rep with that kind of name. That’s admirable in itself.

He attended the common schools and the Ohio University at Athens.

I bet those were the worst years of his life.

He studied law.

He trained to sue all the so and so’s who made fun of him back in school.

He was elected probate judge.

Please all rise for Judge Gaylord.

He was appointed deputy United States marshal in 1860.

You do not mess with this guy, he must have had a gun as a marshal. If you get talked to by him and he tells you his name…and you laugh…you may not be alive for much longer…or at least want to be alive.

Gaylord was elected Justice of the Peace in 1865

This guy should know alot about trying to gain peace from his school days, before failing and having to deal with a broken nose.

That’s all I have to say for this matter. I think I’ll be doing posts like this more often.

If you’re like me…single, use facebook, have lots of friends in relationships…then you wouldn’t have failed to notice all the dating adverts that appear for you on facebook. What makes it a little depressing is the use of pictures containing scantly clad young women that possibly didn’t give their consent for use of their picture in an advert. Not that it’s depressing that they didn’t consent for the use of the photo, that these adverts are mocking me about what I “could” have.

Away from my inner most feelings.
The purpose of this post is to paste and laugh at some of these adverts.

Want A Girlfriend?

Want a date TONIGHT? Meet girls like her on True.com and get a date. It’s FREE!

This picture could be used as a diagram for how to recolonize a woman, or more specifically, how to tell the difference between a normal woman and a woman who will sleep with you (see what I did there?).
I’m liking how they don’t say that you can get a date “TONIGHT”, they just ask if you want one, supposedly out of interest.

Advertiser: Want a date TONIGHT?
Yourself: Woh! Didn’t see you there…..well, not really. I should be taking out the recycling and hoovering the house tonight.
Advertiser: Oh really? My recycling collection normally comes on Wednesdays
Yourself: So does mine but it was a bank holiday Monday so it’s a day later.
Advertiser: Ah, that would explain why it doesn’t get picked up some times. Thanks.
Yourself: No problem, you new around here?
Advertiser: Yeah, just moved here.
Yourself: Oh right, you want to go get a drink with me or something?
Advertiser: Nah, I should put out the recycling. Might as well try out that new duster too. But you know, some other night. I could hook you up with some girls.

That’s how I see it playing out anyway.

Country Dating - UK & IRE

Muddy Matches - Connecting country-minded people - Online dating, singles events and social networking community - Join now!

I find this one very comical, even though I know they’re deadly serious. I can see some people having a soft spot for the farmers daughter that has the key to the hay barn. I could be wrong though, it could in fact be the farmer himself that would be on this website, I can imagine he would bump into his daughter on the site though (Lets not go as far as them knowingly arranging a date together). I just hope that this has only been targeted at me because I’m single and nothing more.
What could have happened though is that some American company has this image of England being 90% farm land and supllies the world with our wheaty goodness. Never the less, I am loving the name.

Sexy Local Singles

Join Zoosk for FREE and start meeting singles now

There are three things that scare me about this advert.

1. The picture either has some bad lighting, a bad pose or some uneven fake tan cream.
2. Zoosk….I don’t think I’ll ever trust a website with a name like that. It sounds like someone travelling pass you at a high speed sneezing.
3. Their knowledge of Essex is inaccurate. If it’s sexy and local, it’s not single.

CasinoTV

£100 Giveaway. £100 to sign up and try. LIVE CASINO

I know it’s not a dating advert but correct me if I’m wrong; I’m seeing 5 fully clothed women and one naked man play poker. Either he’s very bad at poker, he’s living his life to the full with his 5 wives or it’s some crazy nightmare. If it was a dream, the women would either be minimally dressed or not dressed at all.

Did I mention I got a new phone? Oh yeah, it checks my email, syncs my calendar, makes the breakfast, cleans the car…
It’s the Google nexus one. If you follow tech news, your ears just purked up.

I’m not going to brag too much about it but just know this:
If you’re thinking about getting a android phone, don’t dilly dally and just get one.

That goes for buying a new computer as well but ill talk about that another time.

As a web designer, you create alot of domain names on a regular basis. It’s just a routine thing to go though.

I’ve just set up a website called http://www.tophattraveller.com …or as it was previously known, tophattraveler.com.

That mistake cost me £20, it may not be alot but it’s still very annoying. I now have the tophattraveler.com domain with nothing to do with it.

I’m tempted to set up a dummy website blaming me for its cursed existence and how it’s not meant for this world of perfect spelling.

…now there’s an idea.